07 Aug The Secret To Peace In Relationships

When it comes to building a nourishing relationship, what you give is what you get.

Yes, this common phrase can get a bit repetitive, but it’s there for a reason. Let’s say for the sake of “experimentation”, and for the goodness of mankind, I went on a crazy journey(called life) trying to find out how people reacted when I displayed certain traits and vice-versa.

First up, is a scenario in which I deliberately acted slightly snooty to a gym trainer.

Second, a scenario in which a dentist’s assistant was choking me with the suction pipe and I shouted at her for not paying attention.

Third, (this one is a serious girl issue, my ladies might get it) a scenario in which I asked very politely to a bossy lady at the parlor to wax my mustache and then thread the remaining hair. And instead of removing the wax off my face before threading( I asked for her to wipe with some water), and she hissed at me saying that she’s applied powder, so there isn’t a need. But the powder did nothing and I walked away with hair still on my upper lip.

The one thing common in all of these 3 scenarios is that, all 3 are situations where you have to interact and be social. In life too, we have to interact with people and build networks- this is a basic modern survival skill. So how can we be mindful of communication, how build a more peaceful society?

Result of scenario 1:  I asked her just one question, and left with 2 sarcastic comments. This a good example of how people will reflect the same kind of behavior that you show them. I was mean, so she was mean too. It takes great mental strength and mindfulness to avoid fighting fire with fire. So, if someone is mean to you then try to look at the bigger picture and see if you cannot be bothered by what a stranger tells/asks you.

Result of scenario 2: True, I was being choked, but like I said, it’s very hard not to give into anger and yell when you are in a negative situation, so even though it was my fault, I learnt that I should have been a bit less angry and more neutral.

Result of scenario 3: Sometimes we can learn from our mistakes and be very respectful of people, but there are always assholes out there. For what it’s worth, I’ve learnt to take such people lightly and not pay much attention to how they make me feel and instead focus on bringing positivity and peace to the people I love.

To me, these understandings help me deal with the world, but these are some examples from everyday life. If you are dealing with serious relationship problems, I strongly suggest you give our Relationship Pack a try, it helped me deal with the most mammoth sized relationship problem I had for 16 years with my parents.

Nehita Abraham

Nehita is a mindfulness expert who writes extensively on lifestyle management, wellness and ways to lead a healthier and a happier life. She is a part of Aware’s expert team on meditation. She is also an avid artist who spends most her time dribbling amazing stories through art.