25 Oct How to Control Anger?
There is an age old saying that states ‘Anger is men’s worst enemy’. This is undoubtedly one of the wisest things ever said. Things said or done in anger leads to regrets in most cases. This is why people are often advised to never react to a situation when they are angry. It is not necessary that they will always be wrong, but their chances of being wrong are a lot higher than being right. This is simply because when people get angry, they tend to think only about themselves. They might do anything which would feed their anger. This might include hitting, abusing, shouting or even taking decisions in a haste. However, once their anger vanishes, they might regret it for the rest of their lives. This is why it is very important to control anger as quickly as possible without harming anybody emotionally or physically.
Is it wrong to get angry?
No, it is not wrong to get angry as long as it is healthy. Now, what is healthy anger? Well, when someone is being unjust to you and take you for granted, then it is completely right to get angry in order to ensure that they not only treat you fairly but also with respect. Such type of anger is healthy as long as you keep your emotions in control and sue them sparingly. However, the moment you go out of control, it brings harm not just to the person who made you angry in the first place but to you as well.
How to cope with anger?
Some people are short-tempered and some are phlegmatic. No matter to which of these categories you belong, you need to be aware of the best tricks to cope up with anger. This is because anger can do damages beyond repair and even phlegmatic personalities have realised this.
When talking about the best ways to control your anger, mindfulness has to be on the top of the list. The reason is quite simple. You can execute mindfulness anywhere and everywhere and you do not need any props to do so. You just need your mind and something good to focus on.
Manage your Anger with Mindfulness
- Rate Your Anger
Just like you rate a movie or someone’s style of dressing, you need to start rating your anger too. When you are angry at something or someone, rate it on a scale of 1 to 5; 1 being bearable and easily avoidable and 5 being too dangerous. While rating your anger, you would have analysed its severity. You might even compare it to other times when you were angry. The end result of this rating procedure will be that you now will be observing your anger and not thinking about harming the one who made you angry.
- Take Deep Breaths
By the time you are finished rating your anger, your anger would be gone, if not entirely then at least a little bit. So to make it go away completely, take deep breaths and relax your body posture. A relaxed body leads to a relaxed mind. Sit as if you are sitting on a beach with your hands behind your back and your body completely relaxed. This will certainly help you to cool down your anger to some extent if not completely.
If you were or are angry, then there is certainly a reason behind it. Try to identify that reason. Ask yourself what made you angry and why. Also, analyse if that reason was good enough to make you angry to that level. Once you are able to identify these factors, you will be able to know if your anger was justified or not. If it wasn’t then you will be careful next time and if it was then you will be able to figure out a way to deal with that situation without getting angry.
- Identify the root cause of your Anger
Sometimes it is not the situation but suppressed emotions which make people angry. So analyse yourself deeply and try to identify those emotions like if you are hurt or embarrassed or heartbroken or anything of that sort. Once you identify those feelings and acknowledge them, you will begin to feel relaxed.
5. Count your breaths
The moment you realise that your anger is overpowering you, start taking deep breaths and count your breaths; 1 with the inhale and 2 with the exhale, to deviate your attention. You could count, looking at your feet too. There are various other tools like going for a walk, listening to music; identify the one technique that is the most effective for you.
6. Do not regret
You do not have to regret being angry as long as you haven’t hurt someone emotionally or physically. You are a human and it is ok to be angry. Acknowledge it and figure the best way to react to that particular situation if it ever happens again.
It is not very easy to deal with feelings especially when it is your anger. So instead of fighting it, try to deal with it lovingly and you will certainly get the best results.
Purva is a freelance writer from Udaipur, India. She covers a wide range of topics including health, lifestyle, news, food, and travel. You can reach out to her at [email protected].