22 Dec How To Handle Anger In A Healthy Way
Extreme bouts of anger is something most of us deal with. However, not many of us know how to deal with it in a healthy way. Today, we will tell you how to go about handling anger in a healthy way.
Whenever there’s a heated argument, both the people involved in the conversation have important needs and concerns that need to be addressed. Assertiveness in communication emphasizes that. To communicate assertively, just stick to the facts and don’t make accusations.
- For example, you might say: “I was hurt and angry because it seems like you were belittling my project when you laughed during my presentation. I don’t know what was going on, but it seems like you weren’t paying attention or taking my hard work seriously. I could have just misunderstood what was going on. Can we talk and work this out?”
Please and Thank You are the magic words. Using them is not only polite, but it also shows respect for other people. Your communications should convey requests rather than demands. In order to get respect, you have to give it. Then you will foster cooperation and reciprocal respect. This is the opposite of what happens with anger, where aggressive, passive, or passive-aggressive communications puts others at odds with you.
- You can start your communications this way: “When you have the time, could you…” or “It would be a great help if you… Thanks, I appreciate it!”
Make communications clear.
If you beat around the bush, or make general statements that are not specific, everyone involved in the argument will get frustrated. Instead, directly address the person you need to resolve your issue with. Clarify what you’d like to happen. Ensure that you put it in the form of a request
- For instance, if your coworker is speaking very loudly on the phone and it’s difficult for you to do your work, you can state your request like this: “I have a request. Would you please lower the volume of your voice on the telephone? It’s making it very difficult to concentrate on my work. I’d really appreciate it. Thanks.”
- If you had stated instead, “It’s really difficult to get my work done with all the noise in this office” to everyone in the room, it’s not specific. Moreover, it will most likely alienate all of your coworkers, and you probably won’t get your problem solved.
Expressing feelings is important.
When you figure out how you’re feeling, convey the real feeling, like hurt, and keep judgment statements out of it
- For example, this is not an assertive way to express yourself: “I feel that you are an insensitive bore.” That is a judgment against another person (and not a very nice one at that).
- Instead, stick to things that pertain to you: “I feel that you are not being sensitive to my feelings when you read your paper instead of listening to what I’m trying to say.”
Forcing yourself to meditate when your angry can instantly calm you down , and sooner than later you will start to evaluate your actions and the situation you were in and how you could have acted instead.
Meditation also uncovers deep rooted causes of temper, so do give it a try!
Try to solve the problem.
Once you are able to recognize your anger triggers, you can slow your anger down and address all of the anger-provoking thoughts. Then you will be able to shift your focus to problem solving. With problem solving, you are doing everything in your power to address the problem, figure out your own feelings regarding the situation, and express your feelings in the most productive way possible.
- For example, you might get angry because your children got bad grades on their report cards. To avoid having an angry outburst at your child, you should try to understand the underlying problem. This will help you process through the situation.
- Work through your emotions by taking a few minutes to yourself, breathing deeply. As your head clears a bit, you can start thinking of solutions to this problem. You can strategize how you will talk to your children about their grades, emphasizing that you love and support them. You can also think of solutions, such as getting a tutor or enrolling them in a study skills class.
- You might have to accept the fact that sometimes, there isn’t a solution to the problem at hand. This is okay, because not everything in life can be tied up in a package with a neat little bow.
Life’s a lot messier than that. You can’t control life, but you can control how you react towards it.