23 Mar How To Find Peace After You’ve Been Cheated On
So you’ve opened this because you’ve experienced this horrible and painful life-changing event, in some way or another. But there is an answer to how to find peace in life
It’s one of the cruelest thing to happen to anybody who was or is deeply in love, trusted wholeheartedly and gave their relationship everything they had. The idea of beginning to trust someone again can feel like a door slowly closing, and all you want to do is stay inside safely, but it is necessary to learn the truths of life, and grow as strong individuals to deal with people, life’s unpredictability and harsh realities.
Step 1: Don’t do anything rash or impulsive!
The first step is to breathe. Calm your nerves! Yes, you were cheated on, but you cannot take any sudden decisions. It’s always best to spend some time alone with yourself to digest the events that took place. So don’t rush into anything, just relax. Only then can you stay calm when you confront your partner. Show them what they have missed out on by staying calm and assertive, instead of angry and irrational
Also, remember that you cannot go back in time and undo things. It has already happened and nothing can be done now except move forward and BE STRONG.
Step 2: Talk to someone you trust.
Have an honest conversation with someone that has always been there for you. Go to the person who will hear you out when no else is willing to hear you out, as it is crucial to share your feelings and gain clarity. Talking things out will always make you feel better instead of trying to decide what you are going to do alone.
If you are living by yourself and have no one to confide in, or because your partner was like your only best friend, turn to writing your feeling down somewhere. Just don’t hold anything in. Find a book or journal and write every single emotion down. Ultimately reading this back, in like a month, will give you more clarity and help to understand why you felt the way you did.
Step 3: Stop Blaming Yourself.
Often times, we end up blaming ourselves and say like ” did I do something to make this happen?”. Do not do this to yourself. You were the that got cheated on, so don’t cheat your mind by saying that you had something to do with it. Analyze the situation later but right now you need to understand that you have to stay strong. Do not become your own enemy, instead, become as still and as calm as a mountain.
Step 4: Confrontation
Now it is time to talk it ALL out, without showing any weakness. The calmer you are, the more you can let them know how this has affected you. Don’t be passive aggressive here, don’t assume that your body language is going to talk for you. You should not leave anything inside. If you are lucky, it could have been a misunderstanding. But if it wasn’t, then you need to ask why it happened. Remember that if they still love you, they will show signs of weakness and apologize. This doesn’t mean that you have to give into their pain just yet. Staying strong is still key.
Step 5: Analyze
Once you have listened to your partner’s side of the story, combine that with how you feel. Lay it all out in front of you and just analyze the situation. Ask yourself if when it comes to small things, do you want to forgive and save your relationship or if it’s big and nasty, do you want to end it and move on? As this is the most IMPORTANT factor, you really need to get some perspective and view this according to your gut feeling.
Do you think you can forgive? Do you think you can change something vital in the relationship to keep it going? or Do you want to break up?
Step 6: Make a decision and stand by it
If your decision is to continue with the relationship, look at the next step.
However, if you rightfully think that the relationship is going to do you more harm than good, then you need to let that individual go. Think of finding the right person, who would really love you and never risk your love. To move on, remember that at first, you will feel strong emotions, so just accept that it’s over. Stand by your choice no matter what. So, make sure you are making a decision you won’t regret. Ask yourself if you are strong enough to live without them? If it’s no, then move to the next step.
Step 7: Forgive them forever
Forgiveness is the most divine thing and can bring you peace, if you really mean it. Don’t say “it’s fine” and then feel the opposite. Until you are okay to be in the same room as your partner, don’t fake anything. That will do you more harm in the long run as it creates distance. Understand that it takes courage and not weakness to forgive somebody as long as it is done in the right way. Pure forgiveness can give you enough strength to move on and most importantly, stop bringing it up again and again between the two of you.