03 Apr 7 Ways To Not Care What People Think
If you are searching for an answer to how to not care what people think, you’ve come to the right place.
Opinions, actions, decisions or sometimes even personality might vary based on how you want to be seen in the eyes of a complete stranger- be it a job interview or simple dinner with friends. This can really hold you back in terms of happiness and peace.
Let’s begin by looking at why we do things to please people:
Young and Foolish: Back in the early 2000’s I was a young girl, who was made fun of a lot- I did things that did not please my parents and teachers. I used to fail almost every exam and got picked on a lot for that. This made me believe that I wasn’t good enough for any job or any person. I was so grateful if someone would call me their friend because I was trained to believe that I wasn’t worth love and respect unless I scored really well. Just passing wasn’t enough.
Combine this with 2 younger sisters who were all round students made me feel like they were light years ahead of me. At least that’s what I was made to feel even though I was good at non-academic stuff – like being athletic, painting or singing. While others took my self-esteem to an all time low, I started to become suicidal as I felt like such an underachiever. So I figured it was best to fit in.
By the time I had hit college, I was all over the map. Fitting in and forcing myself to sound super smart and different from everyone else was my goal. Unfortunately, this only held back my true emotions and opinions. The fear of being rejected again overpowered what I really felt, what I really thought, who I really wanted to be.
When was the last time you felt this way? Probably not too long ago.
Fast forward to where I am now, I realize that it’s tough to not succumb once in a while to people’s opinion. Especially where you work, for example. You want to fit in, you want to seem like you are on the same page, but this is really negative. I’m still adjusting to work- life balance, but I am much more confident in what I want. Through meditation and self-actualization I have learned that I function differently, and I lean more to being creative and eccentric but my feet are rooted in my core values.
Let’s put an end to caring what people think by doing the following:
Step 1: You Only Live Once!
When we think about life, we rarely stop to smell the roses – I know it sounds cliched, but it’s true. We eat, sleep, go to work and come back. This cycle is the bane of our existence. Life has been gifted to us to make the most of it, so no matter how shitty your life is, you can turn it around when you know that death awaits. It is an uncomfortable thought but quite liberating. When we put things into a wider perspective, we can truly see that we have to be true to ourselves and not give into what other’s think of you. Do whatever makes you happy more importance.
If you meet people who are older than the age of 70, the biggest life lesson they share is to simply stop and smell the roses, choose to smell a rose, choose to smell happiness. Make this one life really count.
Step 2: Stay True To Who You Are:
I spoke about sticking to my core values before. This was an extremely important step in my life. It helped to build my self-confidence and identity. Most of us are scared to share who we really are.
Once you stick to who you are, whatever form that takes, that will transcend and transform your life. When you are brave enough to accept that you are you- anything negative thrown your way will not affect you as much(as you know the truth). Commit a 100% to YOU and enjoy the freedom of not being bound by what other’s think of you.
Step 3: Who To Trust?
There comes a time when it’s important to care about some people think. They consist of individuals who have your best interest at heart. In fact, it is more important to share your thoughts and opinions with them, especially in times of need, as it will help you grow faster in life.
Everyone else’s opinion….is a waste of time.
Step 4: Find and Remove All Negativity Now!
Look, no one is bullet proof. If you are putting yourself out there, for people to judge and try to analyze it too much, the world will tear you down no matter how strong you think you are.
Sources of negativity such as toxic co-workers, friends, the internet or even a relationship are great examples. The best thing to do is to avoid such people and ignore them. You cannot control the way they think or feel about you or life, but you can control your reaction.
React smart- ignore and focus on doing something more mindful and meaningful with your life. Follow your passions and concentrate on your purpose in life and everyone else’s opinion won’t matter as much when you can just stay away from it in the first place.
Step 5: It’s Not About You:
Sometimes the hatred that is aimed towards you, is coming from a place of darkness. Maybe the person who likes to insult is having a crappy life and that gets projected on to you.
It’s tough to image this, but try to view negative people differently. They just don’t know any better, so don’t take anything to heart. If people want to be immature, then that’s unfortunate, but you don’t have to get hurt by it.
In my personal experience, I knew that my father had a horrible boss who would drive him crazy. When my mother was pregnant with my sister, the boss even went to the extent of saying ” You are not giving birth, your wife is, so stay here and work” to my father. I know that to bring home that negativity every day and then see me under perform could be one of the reasons why he gave me such a hard time.
With age and knowledge, it’s easier to see situations in a different light. This point of view will help in understanding why some people insult and how to deal with it.
Step 6: What’s the Worst Case Scenario?
So you want to do something that will make you happy, but you’re afraid of how people will say or think.
This is an awesome situation because the solution is so simple! Just say “eh, what’s the worst that could happen?”
Julia Child was made fun of and rejected at first, but she kept pushing through. Now we owe a plethora of delicious french cuisine to her!
Think about it: What if Julia Child has hesitated to do what made her happy? What if she was too afraid of pleasing her critics? I’m not saying she did it….but she probably went “eh what’s the worst that could happen?” It is far more likely that she, in 1960, had a more positive and reasonable approach to her worst case scenario.
Just remember to live your life to the fullest.
Step 7: One Cannot Please Everyone
Amen to this! You cannot go around expecting everyone to like you because it is impossible. Focus instead, on being a good and kind hearted person to the people that love you. Be genuine with a selected group of people and that has more benefits that having everyone know your name.
Live life to the fullest by spending all your time and energy on things that matter and people that matter. Screwing everyone else’s opinion is not an easy task, especially when your brave enough to put your self out into the world. A thousand eyes could judge you, but find a single eye that can open yours.
Stay patient with these tips and practice the same with yourself too!
Nehita is a mindfulness expert who writes extensively on lifestyle management, wellness and ways to lead a healthier and a happier life. She is a part of Aware’s expert team on meditation. She is also an avid artist who spends most her time dribbling amazing stories through art.