06 Apr How To Get Peace In Marriage
Many couples, over time, tend to battle boredom and emotional disconnect. It is obviously very hard to stay positive when your relationship is crumbling in front of your eyes, but there is hope for those that want to find peace in life, especially with married life.
All of us have a deep longing for happiness in relationships. I think that’s a major reason for putting yourself out there, in the more bare and vulnerable position. Your spouse can really hurt you if they want to. And because the more transparent you are with them, the pain will also be a thousand times more hurtful, no one else has this power over you.
Sometimes it makes me wonder how we can trust and believe that they will protect our insecurities?
Can we create moments of meaning and not have to worry about betrayal or a lack of support in the long run?
If you had to guess that it was never arguing or having amazing sex or being married to a guy/girl who is the opposite to your nature- err, that’s wrong!
Here is THE NAKED TRUTH:
According to research, the real reason behind happy couples can be summarized into 3 simple skills.
- Friendship: You know how you wished that sometimes your best friend could be your future husband/wife? Even if you didn’t grow up thinking like this, it’s always best to fall in love with a spouse that can moonlight as your best friend. Sharing the same interests and likes is like a solid foundation. If you are going through a rough time, take a look at your foundation and try to repair the damages.
- Conflict Management: Couples fight all the time. Fight rarely or fight often, fight in their own space or publicly- it does not matter. What matters if how well you resolve the conflict in the most effective way. Finding a solid thing you can do to get over the fight and never repeating mistakes again could be an effective solution.
- Shared Meaning: This means that there is a sense of meaning in the relationship. They are things that couples have accumulated or formed over the years like rituals or their future dreams and goals, for example. Is there something special habit you do for your spouse? It could be leaving a cute note on their lunch, or hanging out one-on-one at your favorite destination. Whether they are daily, or occasional (like a birthday) it is very very important to continue or renew old rituals of connection. Sharing these rituals together create a sense of closeness and unshakable identity in a relationship.
Never expect to be happy all the time in a marriage. Because it is very easy to lose sight of your partners’ goals/dreams or fall out of romantic rituals. You may even think you made a huge mistake by agreeing to get married, but just remember that a lot of people are going through the same thing that you are. The one’s who are able to take their love forward are the one’s who know how to fight like best friends and re-attach…like best friends.