14 Mar How To Stop Caring About What People Think
” Oh no, why did I say that? “
” Will I get another chance to make a better impression? “
” What are they thinking about me when I walk by? “
” Will people judge me for doing this? “
Everybody cares what others think of them! The person to your left or right cares about how they come across as much as you do. This can become a horrible way of life unless you learn how to not care what people think of you!
One way to look at this is to get logical with this issue. Think about all the 4 thoughts mentioned in the beginning, they show that your mind is moving faster than your walking speed. If your brain has so many thoughts to process, don’t you think that everyone else is also thinking of other things, busy with their own lives, and have literally no time to step back and think about something you did? Having a logical perspective when you feel awkward or weird is a great way to look at solving this issue! But if you feel like you need something more, you may choose to do the things below:
Letting Go of Judgement: Rather than worrying about what people are going to think of you, focus on your own self-worth! Respect yourself enough to know that you will make mistakes, but who cares, it’s all a part of becoming a better version of yourself! On the other hand, when you try to concern yourself with how people look at “every breath you take, every move you make, every step you take”…not only is that a form of stalking, but it’s also very limiting. So don’t let your imagination get out of control, instead, step into a judgement free zone at least on your behalf!
Stop Being A Robot: When you think about what this person by the door, that person with that hair, this person with that jacket, that person with that gadget thinks of you, your behavior is going to change. The more you analyze, the less natural you come across. When you are constantly judging how you behave, you’re not going to able to express yourself freely! That’s when you sound kind of animated and people won’t be able to connect with you because of that - which happens to be deal breaker during job interviews!
For example, I have faced many situations where miscommunication has led to a funny interpretation and people laughed at me. But instead of beating myself up, calmly switching my focus on the task before me, and doing that well, re-ensured my self-worth, and that what I projected! The more you care about what people think of you, the less of an impression you are likely to make on them!
You Cannot Control Everything: The best part about life is its uncertainty! If you had all the power to control everything, then that will not make you a stronger, kinder or smarter person. The element of surprise is amazing, you never know how a date might turn out, you never know where you will be 10 years from now, and that’s the beauty of life. It takes unexpected turns, that will make you understand more about yourself, others and what you want in life!
Expression, Not Impression: Whenever you feel nervous about a speech or asking someone out, or even a job interview, instead of trying to create an impression, get into expressing! Talking more openly and naturally, and throwing the act of impression out of the window, so far that it exists earth and reaches space, opens up a whole new world or channel, where you can authentically connect with people! Also when you express, you discover what opinions and principles you like and dislike. It even makes you a better judge of character!
BUT here is the truth -You are still going to feel fear! You are still going to care what people think. It won’t vanish completely and here is why: The fear is what musicians and speakers channel before the have to go out in public. They have learnt to act with that fear. Being nervous is something that Cesar Millan ” The Dog Whisperer” feels every day before going to his live shows, it is something that Bear Grylls from ” Man vs Wild” feels before being launched into a jungle and come out of it as a survivor! Fear is an innate part of us, it pushes us to survive, give a good speech or perform to the best! To come out of it, feeling proud and accomplished will give you more confidence in doing something more challenging!
When you are here for a short period of time, make every single second count in life! Don’t look at what everyone else feels, instead, look at how you feel, and make life happier.
Nehita is a mindfulness expert who writes extensively on lifestyle management, wellness and ways to lead a healthier and a happier life. She is a part of Aware’s expert team on meditation. She is also an avid artist who spends most her time dribbling amazing stories through art.